When I grow up: My hopes and fears when I achieve financial independence

April 15, 2019 10 By Caveman

It was the morning of Friday the 24th of June 2016. I can place it precisely as it was the day after the UK had voted to leave the European Union. My emotions were all over the place: Sadness, fear but also something that may have been tendrils of excitement. But I had to put all of that aside for now as it was the leavers’ assembly at my children’s primary school.

I don’t know if you’ve been to a school leaver’s assembly. This was typical of the genre. The leaving 10- and 11-year olds came up in small groups. They shared stories and memories from the last seven years. Some were funny, some were sweet, some were…a bit odd. In the background they had a rolling slideshow of their photos on the projector. How on earth did they get so big? Kids start school as large toddlers really and they end it as the biggest and oldest in the school with the younger ones all looking up to them.

The irony in that is, of course, that they aren’t big and old at all. They still have so much ahead of them. The move to secondary school, the extremes of the teenage years. That’s all even before they go to university or start work or whatever. That’s where the poignancy of the leavers’ assembly comes from. They are the ‘big ones’ in their last hurrah. They feel, mature and confident and proud, and so they should. But they aren’t big at all.

We come to the big finale and they’ve decided to sing a song. They line up and the introductory chords play on the piano. Then:

“When I grow up, I will be tall enough to reach the branches…”

“When I grow up”

If you’ve never seen Tim Minchin’s incredible musical version of Matilda you’re missing out. It’s amazing. A completely distinct experience to either the Roald Dahl book or the film adaptation. When I Grow Up is one of a number of absolutely superb songs in it.

Those 10 and 11 year olds absolutely nailed it. At that age they aren’t embarrassed at belting out a song. So they stood there all grown up, singing their hearts out. They were so hopeful and enthusiastic and idealistic. Their future was in front of them just waiting for them to grasp it.

And we had just voted to take away their rights to live and work in Europe. The rights that almost all of us in that room had grown up with as our birthright.

Brexit meant, means, their future was going to be so very different to ours. We parents had no idea of what choices they were going to be when they grew up.

I definitely wasn’t the only parent surreptitiously wiping away tears as they ended the song.

The Thought Experiment

That memory came back to me when I saw Saving Ninja’s latest thought experiment.

“Life is good. You finally did it! You pulled the plug on your day job after reaching financial independence. You never had to work for money again. But, you’re bored. You need something to do… You need a project! You grab a piece of paper and a pen and start thinking. Now that you’re financially free, what projects do you want to complete? However ambitious, however small, you now have the time to pursue anything that you like. What will you accomplish?”

While I’m proactively trying to make sure I enjoy the journey to financial independence there’s a part of me that does feel like my life is going to start when I get there. Actually it’s more nuanced than that. I think that I’m going to start a new and different chapter in my life when I hit financial independence.  Once I don’t have to work I want to start on a phase of self-discovery, a time when I really grow up.

I clearly have a melancholic bent though as Saving Ninja was looking to do a positive thought experiment this time! Instead my initial reaction was to go to a somewhat gloomy memory. But that doesn’t reflect where I really am. I’m actually very excited about what the post financial independence world holds for me.

So like in that song, what am I going to do and be when, finally, I grow up?

“When I grow up I will be strong enough to carry all the heavy things you have to haul around when you’re a grown up”

I know, I know, going to the gym is a retirement cliché. Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to do it though. There have been multiple long periods in my life (including most of last year) when I would go to the gym 2-3 times a week so I know that it’s something that I can do and that I will enjoy.

As I’ve noted in my resolutions, I want to find a good exercise routine. When I achieve financial independence I can myself loving going to the gym multiple times a week. The song lyric actually pick up what I want which is of functional fitness. I’m not bothered about being able to bench press twice my body weight or to run a marathon.

No, I just want to be able to walk home from the supermarket carrying bags of groceries. If I have any grandchildren I want to be able to run in the park to play tag with them or the dog (which is another ambition). I want to be able to still go camping and walk up hills or along the coast.

Basically, when I grow up I want to have the energy and mobility to be able to enjoy my time when I’m not working.

If I can get some sword fighting in as well then all the better…

When I grow up I want to get to the gym

When I grow up I want to get to the gym

“I will go to bed late every night and I will wake up when the sun comes up”

Not being beholden to an alarm clock is something I’m looking forward to when I grow up. There are so many nights when I feel like I’m on a roll with something, reading a book, sorting something out on my website, writing a blog post or whatever. But then I look at the clock and realise that a) I’m going to have to cut myself off in my pomp, and b) I’ve already stayed up too late so I’m going to feel the lack of sleep tomorrow.

While I’ve totally bought into the idea that regular sleep and waking times are a good thing I love the idea that I can learn to listen to my body and to the seasons. Waking earlier in the summer and hibernating in the winter.

I love the thought that if I’m enthusiastic about something then I can throw myself into it as long and as hard as I want. Sometimes I think of it a bit like being Caractacus Potts in Chitty Chitty, Bang Bang. Just being able to lock myself into a shed for a week before coming out with a flying car (or maybe just a new blog post).

“And when I grow up, I will be smart enough to answer all the questions that you need to know the answers to before you’re grown up”

Learning is a huge part of my identity. I love learning new things either formally or informally. I want to learn so much stuff. Becoming competent in French and Spanish, joining a choir and relearning the piano, doing a masters degree in Shakespeare. These are all on the list. Like going to the gym these are things that I’ve done in the past or already do now. Once I get to financial independence this is about given them more time and attention. Moving from apprentice to journeyman and, maybe, to master in a couple of areas.

Giving back also fits into this bucket. A lot of people talk about their desire to volunteer and give back when they hit financial independence. My view on giving is nuanced. I like the idea of it, and I’ve volunteered in various contexts in the past. However, it’s not something that I’m motivated to fit into my life right now. Given that, I’m not sure that I’m going to get excited about making time for volunteering for its own sake when I hit financial independence.

However, I already spend time camping and walking in the woods. This ties in nicely with the various volunteer groups in my area that go out to help maintain the countryside. The work varies so it could be anything from clearing ditches, pruning trees, maintaining a hedgerow or a dozen other things. Getting out into nature, physical activity, seeing the tangible improvements I’ve made, spending time with like minded people. These things all appeal. I did some conservation work decades ago but it’s not something that I know very much about. I’m already excited to learn more. That’s my idea of volunteering when I grow up.

When I grow up I want to spend time helping looking after places like this

When I grow up I want to spend time in places like this

“And I will spend all day just lying in the sun”

I want to see the world. I love travelling and I’ve done a lot of it.  Each time I’ve done it I’ve grown.  But, the last time I went away for more than a couple of weeks was over a decade ago. Travel now is, at best, two weeks away. Once I achieve financial independence I want to have the time for slow travel. It’s not just about lying in the sun, although I’m not going to complain if that’s what I do for part of it. This is more about spending weeks rather than days in a place. Being able to speak the language and immerse myself in a culture.

Maybe go to one of those Italian villages where you can buy a house for €1. Immersing myself in the local community and culture for a year while I to refurbish the house. I’ve always had a hankering to spend a few months at a Muay Thai camp in Thailand. Training at Thai Boxing two or three times a day in the tropical heat is my idea of fun. Maybe going to India or Bali to become a qualified yoga teacher.

To be clear all of these would be cheaper than living in the UK. The main cost would be the travel cost of getting there. But, as I’ll have flexibility on when and how I travel I can look to minimise that. In addition, by spending long periods in the same country the total cost of the trip on an average weekly basis should be lower than living at home.

“When I grow up I will be brave enough to fight the creatures that you have to fight beneath the bed each night to be a grown up”

This all sound a bit busy doesn’t it? Too busy. A big part of what I’m going to need to do when I’m financially independent is to decompress. It’s going to be too tempting and too easy to fill my time with ‘stuff’. To swap my busy work appointments for a busy diary of ‘fun’ things.

That‘s the easy route. It’s filling my time with tasks so that I don’t have to think about what it is that I actually want to do. But, there are demons in my life that I’ll be forced to face.

What if I want to spend time with my loved ones but they don’t want to spend time with me? Now I’ve lost the excuse of work, will it expose the fact that I’m not capable of being the father or husband that I want to be?

Work and commuting time and stress will have disappeared. What excuses will I have if I’m still unfit and overweight?

Do I have any real friends left? What’s going to happen when I try to catch up with them? Am I just going to face a wall of excuses?

Those are the fears that made me recall that performance of When I Grow Up when I read this thought experiment.

I don’t have answers to these questions. They’re the real issues when I grow up. But they’re also the things that can’t wait. I’m working on my health right now. I’m trying to be a better friend, and husband and father. These things are more important to me than financial independence. As Matilda sings near the end of When I Grow Up: “Just because I find myself in this story doesn’t mean that everything is written for me”. My story can change when I grow up.

Other takes

If you want to see what other’s take on this thought experiment was then you can find them below. I’ll add more as they come in.

Saving Ninja 

in-deed-a-bly

A Way to Less

Cashflow Cop

Merely curious

Sam @ A Simple Life

Gentlemans Family Finances

Marc @ Finance Your Fire

Dr FIRE

The FIRE Shrinkag

Young FI Guy

Fretful Finance

theFIREstarter

Eat Save Live

What Life Could Be

Thoughts

Are you interesting in trying to achieve financial independence? What do you want to do when you get there?

Even if you aren’t bothered about financial independence what would you like to when you retire?