Why I would love to lose my job
OK I’m going to put up front that I think that I’m going to come across as a bit of a tool in this post. More than a bit actually. Today is all about why I would really like to lose my job.
I know. What a privileged, oblivious, idiot.
For most people losing their job is an unequivocally bad thing. Some people will be going through this right now and I’m really, really not trying to make light of what you’re going through.
I’ve been there.
It’s a story for another time but I’ve been made redundant in the past. When you lose your job not only do you have to deal with the immediate financial implications but there’s also a worry about how future employers will look at it. At the same time there is the impact on your self-worth and self-belief. An FU fund can’t solve all of that.
But, nonetheless, that’s how I feel. Right now, I would love it if I lost my job. This post is about why.
What do I mean when I talk about losing my job?
It’s worth being clear about what I mean when I talk about losing by job. I wouldn’t want to lose my job for ‘bad’ reasons. So I wouldn’t want to lose my job because my firm was going under and I wouldn’t want to be fired due to incompetence or misconduct.
When I talk about wanting to lose my job I mean it in the way that happens to a lot of us. I want my company to reorganise for whatever reason and I want my role to be made redundant. Work out my notice period take the redundancy payment and walk away with a handshake. That’s my dream scenario.
I’m not looking for the drama and angst of a company going under (I’ve been there) or the horror of being fired for misconduct (I’ve not been there but I’ve seen it happen more than once. Horrible for everyone involved).
No. I’m thinking a nice orderly redundancy process, the likes of which is happening in dozens of companies every day.
Now before people get up in my face about getting Financial Samurai’s book about engineering a layoff. Yes, yes, yes. I know all about that. That’s not where I’m at.
I just don’t want to be there
Where me and my job are at in our relationship: It’s not me or you, but I want to move out
To be clear I am absolutely doing my job. And, while it’s presumptuous of me to say so, I reckon I’m doing it well. Obviously I’m making sure that no balls are being dropped, I mean that’s the bare minimum right? But, even though I could get away with it, I’m doing more. I’m being proactive. Starting new things. Being my usual cheery self around the office. Contributing constructively in meetings.
From the outside I’m doing my job as well as I ever have. My career conversations with my boss and my CEO are all about what they need to do to keep and develop me, not about concerns with my performance.
It’s not even that I dislike my job. Quite the opposite, I quite enjoy it. When I came back from holiday (did I mention that I went on holiday? I’m not sure I did) I wasn’t dreading having to go back to work. I was actually looking forward to finding out where a few of my projects had go to while I was away (obviously they had gone nowhere…but we live in hope).
I’m a bit underpaid for what I do, but not outrageously. I’m certainly not paid badly. Overall nothing I wouldn’t expect from staying at the same company for many years. More importantly I have a pretty good work life balance. That’s the positive from having been around for so long. I know what matters and what doesn’t so I prioritise. I work from home once a week and I don’t work long hours. The only downside is the commute, but I’ve optimised that over the years.
Let’s take stock. I’m doing well at work. I like my job. And, it’s not about money or hours.
What’s going on?
Why I don’t want a job
My problem is that I can see a better place. A better way. It’s been building for a while.
There are just so many other things that I would rather do besides working.
After I came back from holiday I wrote a bucket list. Well I started to write one anyway. I’ll write a whole post on it at some point, but the seed was planted when I did the last thought experiment. It then developed through the exchange that I had on Twitter with Route2FI, Victoria and Ryan that starts as below.
I'm wrestling with this now.
My fear is that I end up back in the cubicle but earning less money, working more hours while doing less interesting work.
"Fear is the mind killer" https://t.co/AFmauhaiL7
— Caveman @ditchthecave.com (@ditchthecave) May 2, 2019
While I was away those seeds took root and since I came back it has flourished into a tree. To extend that metaphor too far, that tree is bearing fruit and it feels so close that if I close my eyes and take a deep breath I feel like I can almost smell it.
There’s one thing that blows away that vision when I open my eyes. Time. I don’t have enough time to do those things now. Even taking away the obvious point about needing time to be able to travel as much as I want, there are a large number of things that I do a little of now that I want to do a lot more of. Read, exercise, see friends to name a few. That’s the tip of my iceberg.
That’s why I don’t want to work anymore.
But what about the money?
In many ways I’m not saying anything revolutionary. Almost everyone would like to do more things they enjoy right? In fact that’s a lot of the thinking behind the whole Financial Independence movement. That’s the whole point of all this saving and investing. We’re trying to build a fund so that we can buy time. So the thing is, if you lose you job you need money.
I’ve touched before on the fact that I don’t track my net worth and I don’t budget. The way I portrayed was: I don’t see the point. I’m too idle. There are too many major swing variable variables for it to make any sense.
Reflecting on that again that’s both true and an excuse. While I’m genuinely not interested in my overall net worth for itself I am interested in each element of it. House, retirement funds, non-restricted savings.
House
I don’t care what the value of my house is, but I very much care about the fact that I don’t have a mortgage on it anymore. I know that some will disagree. There is a very legitimate view that a house is an asset that can be sold, traded up/down etc. If you feel like that, how about this?
Think imputed rent. My house is the bucket of savings that will pay my rent for the rest of my life and it’s perfectly hedged. Yes it’s an asset, but it’s an asset that perfectly covers my rent. Therefore, unless I want to change where I live I just don’t need to think about it.
Pension
When I look at my retirement accounts I don’t care about what the actual value is. What I do care about though is that when I can draw it down it is likely to give me enough income to live at my ‘Comfortable FI’ level. That requires various assumptions but I’ve not been outrageously aggressive (I think). The bottom line though is that I’m not worried about it. I’m continuing to pay into it even though I don’t ‘need’ to. That means that each month that goes by I can make my assumptions even less aggressive. Essentially, when I retire, financially at least, I should be fine.
Non-restricted savings
Then there’s the rest. The problem. My blind spot. Non-restricted savings. That’s the place that I’m trying to give myself excuses not to look at. Those saving are what will bridge between today and my retirement fund. How do I pay my bills between now and then?
The maths is simple. What do I spend now? How many years between now and when I can access my pension. Multiply one by the other. That’s what I need in that fund.
It’s simple. But I’m not doing it.
Why don’t you just do the numbers numbnuts?
The obvious question that arises from this is: Why don’t I just run my numbers? When I know what my pot need to be start to save. When I’ve saved it up, quit. It’s not rocket science is it?
I’ve paid the price of feeling powerless, of feeling like a victim, in the past. I hated it and learning how to stop feeling, and acting, like a victim was one of the greatest epiphanies of my life. So why am I taking the victim’s route now?
The reason?
Fear.
“Fear is the mind-killer”
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert, Dune
I’m comfortable in my job and my life. Really comfortable. I enjoy my well paid, not very demanding job and I’m good at it. I take plenty of holiday. Why stop that sweet regular pay check?
Don’t be a fool. I can’t earn money if I’m not working my day job. Who do I think I am?
What if the markets tank? What happens if the kids ‘need’ to go to private school? What will I do if my parents ‘need’ residential care?
If I have all of this time in front of me then I’ll not actually do any of these things that I think I will. Why sit around watching Netflix all day?
The obvious answer to how to bridge the gap between now and when I can access my pension is to keep working. Duh! By any measure, retiring in my late 50s is early retirement. What’s my beef?
I’m happy as I am. I’m not close enough financially so I should look at it again in a few years. Don’t worry about it now.
Stop being selfish and greedy. Stop it.
So fear wins.
Fear is the mind killer.
And I do nothing.
“Fear is the mind killer”
Why I would love to lose my job
So what this comes down to is that I want someone to take the decision away from me.
I want someone to shake my hand and pass me a check before, very apologetically, taking my pass, laptop and phone away.
I want the speeches and the requests to connect on LinkedIn and the leaving card.
That all done with I want to be forced to think about my future.
To be forced to run my numbers.
To be forced to decide to apply for another job or to realise that I don’t need it.
I want to lose my job so that I don’t have to take responsibility for my own actions.
Where does that leave me?
Writing this down has been cathartic. If I was reading this on someone else’s blog I’d be exasperated by now. I know exactly what I would write in the comments.
I would tell them to stop playing the role of victim. Don’t wait to lose your job, take control.
Just do them numbers. Take the first step. Doing the numbers doesn’t commit you to anything.
Don’t make a budget but just work out what you spent last month. Take a stab at what it means for a full year.
You know how many years it is ‘til you can draw you pension.
Multiply one number by the other.
Add up your non-pension savings. What’s the gap?
Pause. Just take a moment to look at the number. Does it scare you? Is it unattainable? If you just carry on with your automated savings when will you get there? Remember, each year you work is one less year that you have to fund out of savings.
So when do you get there? It’s before you draw your pension isn’t it? That means you can retire earlier than you thought.
Pause again. Longer this time. Live with that for a while.
Then start to play. If you want more of a cushion what does that look like? If you wanted to get there faster how could you do that?
No pressure. You don’t need to do anything. Just play with a spreadsheet.
Then, maybe, make some of those changes that would allow you to bring that date forward. Remember, nothing says that you have to quit at that point. You’re just giving yourself options.
One step at a time.
“I will face my fear…Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
“Only I will remain.”
Thoughts?
Are you scared of the future?
Do you have a clear idea of what your numbers are?
Have you ever wanted to lose your job?
24 Comments
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Hi Caveman,
It’s one of those things that once you do lose your job, your then hyperfocused to find something new, or ways of making ends meet. It’s probably the fresh start that we all need!
Matt
That’s part of my thinking. It will force me out of this very comfortable place I’m in. But the problem with being in a comfortable place is that it’s, well, comfortable. So I’m struggling to leave when I don’t have to.
Hey Caveman – sounds like you know what you have to do if your serious…. feel the fear and run the numbers, at least you will than know what your bridging number needs to be, and that can help you decide what your going to do next and when you will feel happy doing it. This post really resonates as its essentially whats just happened to me, sans the redundancy check. For a while now i have been doing what i think is a good job for a client and have extended my contract multiple times, not cos i really need the money but cos i enjoy the challenges and people i work with. A couple of weeks ago having verbally agreed to extend again through the summer, i got told the client had to decided withdraw the offer, Bingo !! someone else made the decision for me and now i have the rest of my life to look forward to
Really glad i found you blog a few weeks back, keep up the great writing always interesting and thought provoking
Thanks for sharing your story. Interesting and motivational to hear how well it all worked out for you. Do you have any thoughts about what the rest of your life might entail?.
My worry is that I’m too well established so it will be a long time before I’m kicked out. The right thing for me has to be to deal with it proactively. As you say, I know what I need to do as a first step. I just need to do it.
Glad you’re enjoying the blog. I’m certainly loving writing it!
Interesting post, Caveman!
I wish for some kind of the same thing, because I’m a coward.
Anyway, I read that you haven’t done the numbers. But do you know aprox where you are? Net worth of 100k? 300k? 500k? 700l? 1mill k? I think you would have less fear if you actually run your numbers.
But as you say, your life is comfy as it is. Why would you change that?
Well, deep down there is things you are longing to do, that you will regret later on that you didn’t try. And if you don’t even need the money from your job anymore? Then why stay?
You got nothing to lose!
My fiancee asked me the other day about what I am so afraid of. The truth is that I’m a coward. All my life I have chosen the safest paths. And my Route 2 FI is also the same: safe. I’ve written more about it here: https://www.route2fi.com/lesson-to-myself-part-i-what-would-happen-if-i-became-more-like-the-mexican-fisherman/
Anyway, thanks for sharing. I can see we have some of the same thoughts.
Thanks R2FI. You’re right, to move forward I need to know my numbers.
I have broad idea of my net worth but, as I say, the house and the pension bit don’t really matter it’s the bridge. If I had to guess I would say that the bridge currently covers about half of what I need. But that’s in the context of an unoptimised life and it assumes no income at all and, as I say that’s a guess.
If you’re on the way to FI I can’t see how you are a coward. It takes courage to walk this path as it goes against what society, including our family and friends, sees as normal. That’s actually part of the reason that we all need to run our own numbers. Everyone’s path to FI is individual.
Thanks for sharing the link. I look forward to reading that post.
I certainly don’t want to lose my job. But if they were offering me money to leave, I would take it in a heart beat. I know I can have another well-paid job within a month. That’s the luxury of my field and the current economy.
For now, I’m happy working hard and trying to optimise for income. But hey, I’m 26, and trying to create my financial runway. Every month when I receive my salary, I feel a little more independent, that my runway extended a bit more.
My current FI prediction (but who am I to know this – things will change in life) is somewhere around 43 years old. I would like to target 40 because I’m a go-getter. But does that mean I want to sit on the couch all day every day? Hell no! It will mean I can pursue my happy projects, or learn a new craft, or whatever. Maybe it will enable me to keep working 2 days a week, enjoying a “inverted week” and spending more time with family. Who knows…
If I list my job I’d be pretty confident of getting another one as well. The thing for me is that I want someone to force me to make a decision as doing nothing is just too comfortable.
Love the idea of pursuing “happy projects”, now that’s a way to spend your time!
Very interesting to read your thoughts, Caveman. I don’t really have anything to add; it looks as though you know exactly what to do, you just need to make the time and motivation to do it!
If nothing else, working out where you are now and where you need to be should help to stop the itchy feet and “time is running out” feeling that you described above.
Have you considered going part-time? If you have plenty of pension savings and a decent amount of pre-retirement savings, then perhaps you no longer need to work full-time to accumulate more wealth. Perhaps you can work part-time, earning just enough to cover your expenses each month, without worrying about saving more money. The savings you do have can act as an emergency fund, of sorts, and then once you hit pension age, you’ll be set.
Thanks Dr F. You put it well, there’s definitely part of this that is about feeling like the sands of time are trickling away. I think that’s what it really bugging me.
Yes I have thought, and am thinking, about part time. I do worry though that the nature of what I do means that I would end up allowing work to bleed into my time off. That would be the worst of all worlds so if I could draw a clean line that would be my preference…but am I making the perfect the enemy of the good?
I don’t have a clear idea of what my numbers are because I’m still letting finances settle down now that I’m single and don’t have a spender draining the budget. Not that I’m perfect, but I certainly spend less than he did.
I did promise myself that this month I’d track my spending and categorize it (which I loathe) to see where I’m at and take note of any problem areas. (I predict the biggie will be how much I spend on going out. It’s not heinous, but it could probably be trimmed.)
So I guess I’ll know my numbers soon enough, though I’m nowhere near financially ready for retirement. So this would be more of getting an idea of how much I need in retirement rather than how close to it I am.
I hope you’re able to overcome some of the fear and take the first steps toward figuring out your numbers. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. If not, at least the dread will be over and done with.
At least you’re in a stable place now with your finances. It’ll take a bit of time but after than you’ll know where you are.
I’m totally with you on tracking spending I find it utterly tedious…but I know that I will need to do it to get a grip on where I am
Interestingly I think that most of the dread about knowing mu numbers is that I will then have to make a (potentially lifechanging) decision. The numbers themselves are not hard it’s what I then have to do with them that is the fear.
This is such an interesting post! I often wonder what would have happened had I noted gotten into grad school for the “career of my dreams.” Even though I am very happy at my job, there’s also a part of me that would love to be traveling around the world doing odd jobs to make ends meet. Instead, I funneled 40,000 into that education and you better believe I’m working til it’s paid off and then some. So I guess our perspectives are not that dissimilar. For the time being, at least I have a little clarity in continuing work, especially since I am so happy with my job and feel fortunate to have it. But there’s always that little inkling in the back of my head. I hope you figure out your numbers and what path is going to bring you the greatest level of happiness!
Elise
Thanks Elise.
I know that feeling. I’ve worked hard to try to not regret the past though, that’s a hiding to nothing as there’s zero that I can do about it now. That’s part of why I’m wrestling with this issue now as I’m worried about regretting the present.
We are definitely very similar as I had similar clarity while I was working to pay off my mortgage early. Having been able to do that continues to give me a great deal of pleasure. But, now its done, I don’t have that focus any more. I think that’s another part of my existential questioning…and why I want someone to decide for me!
Hi Caveman,
I thought I was the only one who wanted to lose my job! In my case though, I put too much time in. I’m 45 years old with almost 26 years at the job. With more than $2 million in savings, I can easily quit as my dividend income plus short-term capital gains on a portion of that $ that I day-trade far outweighs my job salary. However, if I quit, I lose the pension. I have to wait for an early-out offer to keep the pension. It’s extremely frustrating because while I may like the work, there are a lot of bully-type people there. I have even been physically assaulted by another woman there. (No witnesses, my word against hers-so she got away with it) Another woman with more social power than me likes to mutter obscenities at me in passing. (Perhaps she is jealous because her son is “special “& my daughter is pre-med?) Basically, a lot of the people there are miserable. It’s a blue-collar job.
An early-out offer can’t come soon enough for me! I wasn’t eligible for the last one-we need to have at least 25 years of service, so now I am eligible!!
No you’re definitely not alone! I’m right there with you.
Amazing job on the $2m+ in savings. That is a phenomenal amount to have saved by 45! Congratulations!
I’m so sorry about your work situation. Physical assault is awful. No one should have to put up with that in the workplace. So good though that you’re now eligible for for an early-out offer to keep your pension. I can see how the risk of losing your pension would very much make you feel trapped. On a smaller scale I have slightly similar in terms of deferred bonus payments, but they aren’t significant (or likely to pay out…) so I’m not including them as part of my calculations.
For me it’s slightly different – I run a digital agency employing 10 staff, so if I wanted to ‘walk away’ I would be potentially letting down our fab employees. I totally get from where you’re coming from though – I really do.
FIRE for me is all about freeing up spare time. I’ve soon come to realise that money isn’t everything (as I continue to bung 60% of my income into the pot each month). What I do value though is free time, spending time on things I enjoy and being outdoors and for me to do this, I need to keep at the daily slog of work!
I can definitely see how having employees in my own company would change the calculation. I’m fortunate that I can be much more selfish.
Yes free time is absolutely the prize. If you’re saving 60% a month you are absolutely killing it. Hopefully that means that you’re going to be in a position soon where you can decide how (and if) to manage your exit from your own firm without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.
Hi,
caveman, great post! I was thinking exact same thing a month or so ago. Being fired would be like a kick ass do start my own business.
Thanks HonestFIRE. While it wouldn’t be to start a business for me the whole kick up the backside is what I think I would like (I would just like the financial cushion of a redundancy package to sit alongside it as well!)
Sometimes, it seems easier to be reactive rather than proactive – the latter takes a lot more effort I think, with more emphasis on responsibility. But since you have the luxury of not having to act, I see why you are taking this stance. With your mortgage paid off and a fair amount (whatever the number) stashed away, you don’t have to worry about making the decision.
I wouldn’t like to lose my job now because I like it and I haven’t been there long enough to get any significant severance pay. I hope to be able to continue with it (assuming not too many things change for the worse) until I hit FIRE. That said if things were to go south, then I would not hesitate to walk away from it.
Yes the personal responsibility that will come with being proactive is what is holding me back I think. Not wanting the pressure of being wrong. What I need to remind myself of is that doing nothing has a price as well.
Like you if things got bad at work then I would happily walk away…but it’s all quite good so I don’t have that prod. It’s nice to know that I can though should I need to.
I understand the feeling. Six years ago I lost my job and it has turned out to be great for me.
I had enjoyed my work, but the amount had been getting less (partly through my own efforts). So I expected it to go away sometime and I was saving a lot, into my pension and elsewhere, but I hadn’t done the numbers.
After I stopped work I started doing the numbers and found I had enough to live on until my pensions were due to kick in. That didn’t feel right to me so I went into BTL and after a year I was earning more that I needed to live on.
Then I looked at my pensions and found I hadn’t understood them. I had a couple of old, small pensions that turned out to be worth more than I expected due to GARs. My FS pension turned out to be worse than I expected as increases once in payment were entirely at the discretion of the trustees and they have given only a couple of 1% rises since 2003.
One thing you should consider is that a mortgage free house does not pay your rent for the rest of your life. Rent covers repairs and insurance and you will still have to pay for them. Still it will cover 90% of what rent would and the sense of security is valuable.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m looking more at the bridge value as I’m happy spending down my savings but I can see why you decided differently and it’s looking like it’s working out great for you!
I have to run the numbers (in fact I have started since I wrote that post). That has to be key to all of this. I don’t think that I’m going to have any upside surprises from this though – my pensions are all defined contribution and I know about all of them. But I do need to work out how I can bridge to them – possibly by going part time.
Very good point about house maintenance etc. I have house insurance in my post-FI budget and have also put in around 0.5% of the house value in annual maintenance. That may be on the low side over 30-40+ years as it won’t cover new boilers, kitchens, bathrooms, roof etc that may be needed in that time frame. I need to interrogate that further.